For many months, I carried in my purse the small advert that I had cut out from the Community News in our local newspaper.   It offered to help people troubled by someone else’s drinking.
 
I was so confused, my mind full of problems.   I didn’t know why I felt sad all the time and getting worse.   What I was aware of was a connection with alcohol, and the time of day when that happened.   That was when I became anxious or fearful, followed by trying to work out another way to control the situation so that everyone would be happy.   Of course I never could.
 
Professional help and counselling gave me brief periods of sanity, but that was short-lived.   I needed something else.  Despair was what I needed to feel to drive me to use the newspaper advert.   I reached out and made the phone call to the Al-Anon help-line and found HOPE.   I found someone who seemed to understand what I was feeling; they listened to me, gave me the location of some Al-Anon meetings and encouraged me to give it a try.   I now thank my Higher Power for that meeting.   It was on a day when I could go and it was in my area.
 
I cried and even sobbed during those meetings for the first 12 months or so and even questioned – is it working?   It took me a long time to admit that my life was unmanageable and I couldn’t fix it on my own.   This was a change of attitude for me and that changed many things.   Eventually I had an awakening, I acknowledged I was starting to feel better some of the time.   I recognized that I was making progress.   I came to believe in a power greater than myself (and learned to trust), trusting my loved ones are cared for and guided by their Higher Power.   I could let go of what was not my responsibility.   I found the more I referred to the Steps, and actually lived the program, by applying it in all my affairs, with everyone in my life, I could actually experience some peace of mind.
 
Reading Al-Anon literature, writing (helps me identify what I am feeling) and lots of listening at meetings has helped me to grow and to mature toward the type of person I want to be.   I am grateful to each and every member for the love I have been given in a very special way.   If I can give away some small part of this, I will be grateful for the opportunity.   I can now look forward to the rest of my life and to having some joy along the way.
 
 
 
The moment I walked through the doors of my first Al-Anon meeting I felt the peace and serenity flood over me.   It felt like ‘coming home’.   The acceptance and sense of belonging I have experienced, in the relatively short time I have been attending, has been a true blessing.   As I listened to members share their stories it was like I was hearing my own.   The relief I felt that I was not alone was amazing!
 
When I go to my regular meetings it is like returning to the well for a much needed drink on a hot day.   I’m beginning to find my own true identity and gaining greater confidence to speak up when I need to.   Al-Anon has helped me find a voice – my voice. 
 
When I was a child I was told  that children should be seen and not heard, so I learnt to be quiet and helpful as a way of gaining acceptance.   If I tried to assert my individuality as a teenager I would be punished for daring to question my parents’ authority (especially by my father).
 
Al-Anon is helping me mature and to believe that it is OK to make a mistake – it is not the end of the world!
 
My Al-Anon home is a true blessing.