My serenity... and my sister's relapse

The day I had not worried about came today—the day she decided to drink again. I have no idea how the pain of drinking brought her to sobriety, and how the pain of living brought her back to drinking. I just know my beautiful sister is suffering and our family is grieving the loss of the brightness that came with her sobriety. My heart is full of compassion, sadness, and love.

I recall with gratitude our joyous reunion during the time of her sobriety. I wish that it could go on forever, that I could keep the relationship that we have begun to build. We grew closer, shared our ups and downs, and encouraged one another. We had a special connection, having survived 40 years of an alcoholic home and alcoholic relationships together, and now recovery.

It’s been a privilege to watch her find her own way through difficult times with the help of her loving God and the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. Recalling with gratitude helps me to heal today, and to let go.

I don’t know what the next day will bring, so I won’t worry. For today, I extend compassion to myself, to my family, and to my loved ones as the scenery changes on our path. For today, I will be kind to myself and reach out for the kindness of my Al‑Anon community.  They are with me. For today, I will see beyond the disease of alcoholism to the light of a lovely spirit, and employ the magnanimous hope that recovery offers for another day’s reprieve.

By Terry C., Louisiana
The Forum, March 2012

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