Taking it personally, she wanted to know why I didn’t love her anymore. As I took the time to wait for the right answer (as I had heard others say in meetings), it was as if the words were put into my mouth, “Oh no, you have it all wrong, it is because I love you that I have made this decision. Living together has caused great resentment for me, and I never want to resent you again.” Taking my cue from others in the program who encouraged me to love, understand, and respect the alcoholic, I also said, “I have faith and trust that you can take good care of yourself.” It was as if it all made sense to both of us.
Today, we have a great relationship, and mutual respect has grown tremendously. I thank my Higher Power for Al‑Anon. The wisdom, support, and love that I get are amazing. Today, I know I can detach lovingly and safely, maintain a healthy relationship, and respect myself and others as the unique people they were created to be.
By Diana R., Idaho
The Forum, May 2013