College student copes with parents' divorce

I was in college at the time: my whole world was collapsing as my parents were getting a divorce after more than 25 years of marriage.

I sought out a counselor who asked me if alcoholism was a problem in my family. I wasn’t sure—we had a normal family. I thought my mom and dad worked hard and supported us, though they were always fighting.

Many nights they had parties that would always end up in fights. We, the children, would gather together and cry, blaming each other as if it were our fault and fearing the worst—the breakup of our family.

I was always being blamed, though deep inside I felt I did nothing bad enough to cause this. I told the counselor it wasn’t my fault.

She gave me a book to read. I can’t remember the title, but it discussed the family dynamics of alcoholism. It probably took me less than a day to read through the book and identify with all the roles and characters. When I returned to the counselor, she then suggested that I go to an Al-Anon meeting on campus. It took several sessions with her before I got the courage to go.

When I arrived, I was lucky enough to befriend a woman who became my Sponsor. She and my counselor told me I was in the right place, though guilt had me feeling quite different.

I thank God everyday for both of these women, with special thanks to the counselor who had such an accurate view of the disease of alcoholism.

By Anonymous, Connecticut
The Forum, October 2007

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