I got up in the middle of the night last night and stubbed my toe. I wanted to scream, but screaming would have startled my sleeping wife, scared the dog, and would not have accomplished anything for me.
When I married my husband, the one thing I wished we had was the ability to laugh together. We were both very “serious” about life and ourselves.
When I first started working the Steps with my Sponsor, I was scared to death—scared to death to share the secrets of the disease that I had carried with me, some that I had had since childhood. It wasn’t until we got to Step Five that my new self-awareness started to become comfortable.
I once read, “Nothing is either good or bad. It is our thinking that makes it so.” Often as I look back over my life and ponder the instances and events I’ve lived through, I am filled with gratitude for the things I’ve seen, felt, experienced, or accomplished.
I grew up in a family where anger, violence, and alcohol were part of everyday life. I was sexually molested and a victim of incest. I learned that God hated you if you were not straight. I learned that alcoholism can and will kill. I buried my uncle, an ex-wife, and a boyfriend—all of whom I lost to this disease.
Al‑Anon continues serving up surprises, showing me how much can grow out of seemingly little moments.
My 22-year marriage to a recovering alcoholic has been filled with times of peace and times of great calamity. There have been times when I felt very close to my Higher Power, and times when I wondered if He was there at all.